Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Missing Home

We immigrated to Australia in January of 2001. I can still remember very vividly the eve of our departure from the Philippines, when my family came to say goodbye. That was the very first time I saw my father cry. As I embraced him, he pushed me away (as though he did not wish me to see him so emotional) and he said to me, "You are doing the right thing for your children." Seven years on, I still find myself sobbing when I remember that night. Did we really make the right decision?

I ask that because till now, I still feel much guilt in my heart. I left my parents when I knew they were nearing their twilight years. While it is true that my children's future looks truly bright here in Australia, my conscience still tells me we made a selfish move. My parents are getting older and weaker by the day. Around May last year, my mom got seriously ill. She mir
aculously survived and is doing much better these days, but for how long she will still be around, God only knows. I could only wish I could physically be with her. But as it is, I could only offer her my prayers, thoughts and constant phone calls. Can those ever be enough? I feel so helpless.

I miss my family in the Philippines. Parting with them had created a hole in my soul. And that hole just gets bigger and deeper everytime I visit them, then depart again. I last saw them in October. I was there for my mom's 83rd birthday. I just couldn't let the opportunity pass to share that time with her. She is my miracle.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day...I don't really celebrate that but I will phone home.

Watch the video below before you leave this blog - it's been my favourite song for sometime now.

Home by Michael Buble

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